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Behavior & Habits ▪ Culture That Lasts ▪ Systems That Stick
Behavior Holds Businesses Together
Behavior Holds Businesses Together
Organizations rarely break in 1 big moment. They bend a little every time behavior drifts away from what the business needs.
Over time, people get busy and their habits stop matching the outcomes everyone says they want. Global surveys suggest only about 1 in 5 employees are engaged at work, costing hundreds of billions each year in lost productivity (Business Insider).
Success means facing that directly and learning how to change behavior on purpose. Culture and strategy only stay aligned when the way people act can carry the weight of where the business is trying to go.
Answers 6 Important Questions
Answers 6 Important Questions
Why do smart, motivated people still struggle to change how they work?
How do you separate "who I am" from "what I happen to think or feel today"?
How can a team shift habits without nagging, shame, or endless resets?
How do values move from slogans on the wall into things people actually do?
How does a high performer turn their instincts into simple systems others can run?
Where does A.I. actually help with behavior change instead of becoming another distraction?
View 31 Helpful Terms
View 31 Helpful Terms
1:1 (1-On-1): A private meeting between a manager and 1 team member.
Accountability: Being answerable for what you did or did not do.
A.I. (Artificial Intelligence): Software that can analyze text, create drafts, or suggest ideas based on your prompts.
Aligned Behavior: When what you do matches what you say you care about.
Avoidance: Putting off a behavior you know would help because it feels uncomfortable.
Backbone: The core behaviors that hold the business up and keep it from collapsing.
Behavior: What you actually do, not what you say you will do.
Checklist: A simple list of steps so you do not forget something important.
Coach: A person who helps you see your behavior clearly and improve it on purpose.
Culture: How people really act together every day, especially when nobody is watching.
Cue: A reminder or signal that tells you, "Do this behavior now."
Experiment: A small test to see if a new way of doing something works.
Field Guide: A practical, "use it while you work" guide instead of a theory-heavy textbook.
Habit: A behavior you repeat so often it starts to run on autopilot.
Hero Mode: When 1 person is always "saving the day" instead of building a system others can use.
High Performer: Someone who delivers strong results again and again, not just once.
Mindset: The lens you think through, especially the stories you tell yourself.
Onboarding: How a new person is taught to do their job and fit into the team.
Overloaded: When you have so much to do that adding 1 more thing feels impossible.
Playbook: A simple, shared guide for how to handle a situation the way your team wants.
Process: The steps you follow to get work done, in the same order each time.
Prompt: The question or instructions you type into A.I. to tell it what you want help with.
Retro (Retrospective): A short look back at recent work to ask what went well and what should change.
Signal: A sign that something is happening under the surface, like a pattern of missed deadlines.
Rung (Of Change): A step on the ladder from "I never do this" to "this is just how I work."
Standard: The minimum level of quality or behavior that is always expected.
Story: The meaning you give to events in your head, which might not be fully true.
System: A repeatable way of doing something that usually gives the same result.
Transcribe: Turn spoken words from audio or video into written text.
Values: The things you say matter most, like honesty or ownership.
Willpower: The mental effort it takes to make a hard or new choice right now.
Benefits Of Having Backbone Behavior
Benefits Of Having Backbone Behavior
Many change efforts fail not from bad strategy, but because daily behavior never really shifts at scale (McKinsey & Company).
Use Backbone Behavior if you:
Care about results and know behavior is the missing link.
Have watched smart plans fall apart after the kickoff.
See people slide back into old patterns even with clear goals.
Whether you are directly responsible for results or lead team efforts, Backbone Behavior provides a shared language that helps everyone pull in the same direction.
If You Only Have 5 Minutes
If You Only Have 5 Minutes
If you are skimming, repeat this 5 step loop to turn ideas into evidence.
Pick 1 behavior that would make everything else easier if you improved it.
Find your rung in the 9 Rungs Of The Behavior Change Ladder for that 1 behavior.
Design the smallest next-rung move you can try in the next 48 hours.
Add 1 cue where the work happens so you remember to actually do it.
On Friday, ask: "Did I do it? What changed? What would make it easier next week?"
If you want to turn these behaviors into shared systems and documents, pair this with AAAwesome, which gives you the loop for testing and wiring them into daily work.
"Culture is what people do when nobody's watching."
— Henry Mintzberg
From Habit Blindness To Backbone
From Habit Blindness To Backbone
Behavior change does not start with a big reinvention. It starts with noticing what you already repeat and deciding which parts deserve to stay.
Deactivate Auto-Pilot
Deactivate Auto-Pilot
Your thoughts shift all day. Your habits are what actually make it into your calendar, inbox, and results. Many daily choices run on automatic scripts shaped by context and repetition, not pure willpower (European Journal Of Social Psychology).
That is how 1 person, then 1 team, and eventually 1 organization moves from "I never think about my habits" to "We have simple systems that help us act like our best selves most of the time."
When behavior shifts like this across enough people, it stops being a one-off win and starts becoming culture. In one large review, only about 30% of organizational change efforts were considered clearly successful, often because daily behavior never actually shifted (McKinsey & Company).
Do To Become
Do To Become
Taking small, repeated actions builds more durable confidence than waiting to "feel ready" (Stanford University).
You do not need a different personality to progress. You just need 3 anchors:
You are not your thoughts.
Action comes before confidence.
"I do not know yet" is a strength, not a failure.
After you decide how you want to behave, A.I. may be able to help. Tools amplify what you already do. Weak inputs create slop. Clear intentions and concrete actions give A.I. something worth scaling.
Exist Beyond Your Thoughts
Exist Beyond Your Thoughts
Most change dies in the first uncomfortable thought. Those are not facts. They are old stories.
"I am not a disciplined person."
"I always fall off after a week."
"I am terrible with new tools."
They come from specific moments, not from your full potential. If you treat them as truth, they become a ceiling you never push past.
For leaders, this matters at 2 levels:
The stories you believe about yourself shape how you show up.
The stories you quietly believe about your people shape what you even try to build with them.
The Success Mindset
The Success Mindset
High performers are not people who never feel doubt or resistance. They are people who learned a different response:
Notice the thought.
Call it what it is: "That is a thought, not a fact."
Pick 1 small useful action anyway.
That shift feels simple, but it is the root of every behavior change you keep. It also keeps culture honest. When more people can notice their stories, name them, and move anyway, the whole organization becomes less fragile.
"What we do over and over becomes who we are. Excellence isn't a single act, it's a habit."
— Aristotle
See The Forces That Shape Your Day
See The Forces That Shape Your Day
Before you can change behavior, you need to see it clearly and notice the habits already running your day. AAAwesome focuses on how the work runs. Backbone Behavior acts like a check engine light for your habits and culture, so you can act before performance breaks down.
Turn Your Lens Inward
Turn Your Lens Inward
Most people jump straight to embracing the "new habit" without understanding what pulls them back to the old way. Then they blame willpower when it fails. Awareness here is not about assigning fault. It is about putting a light on the patterns that quietly run your day.
Instead of the operational focus in AAAwesome, think of this as personal and team x-ray vision. You are looking for 4 forces that quietly shape how you behave.
If you lead others, your job is to notice these forces in your team without shaming anyone. You are not hunting for weakness. You are looking for places where simple support would unlock better behavior.
Learning Without Landing
Learning Without Landing
You read. You watch. You nod. Monday looks exactly the same. This is "collector" mode: insight piles up, but behavior does not change.
If you lead a team, watch for this around training, conferences, and new frameworks: lots of excitement, very little change in the calendar.
Signals
You finish a course and cannot name 1 thing you now do differently.
Your notes from books and workshops sit untouched.
You feel productive while learning, then guilty afterward.
Adjustments
After any learning session, answer 1 question: "What will I try in the next 48 hours because of this?"
Turn that answer into a tiny behavior: a checklist line, a new way to start a conversation, a different way to schedule your day.
Do not keep more than 3 "active experiments" at once.
As a manager, ask your team this simple question after any training: "What is 1 small behavior we will test this week because of what we just learned?" Capture it somewhere visible.
A.I. Assist
Paste your notes into A.I. and ask: "What are 3 small behaviors I could test this week based on this?" Pick 1.
Fear Of Being Seen Trying
Fear Of Being Seen Trying
Most people are not afraid of the work. They are afraid of looking clumsy.
Teams with strong psychological safety learn and perform better because people feel safe to speak up and try new approaches (Harvard Business School).
Without that safety, they wait until they feel "ready," and that day rarely comes. If only polished work is welcome, nobody will risk doing anything new.
Signals
You delay starting a new behavior until the "perfect time."
You stay quiet in meetings even when you have an idea.
You copy someone else's style instead of trying your own.
Adjustments
Decide up front that your first 10 attempts will be awkward. That is not failure. That is the price of entry.
Share your experiment with 1 person you trust: "I am working on doing X differently. I will be rough at first."
Ask them to look for effort, not polish.
As a manager, model this out loud: "I am trying a new way to run this meeting. It may be rough for a few tries. I want your feedback afterward."
A.I. Assist
Use A.I. to rehearse. Practice a conversation, email, or script with the model before you try it with a real person. Let the awkward version happen in a safe place.
Hero Mode
Hero Mode
Every organization has people who "save the day." They jump in late, stay late, or absorb everything nobody else wants to touch.
Hero mode feels good short term. It is also how you trap yourself and how culture drifts from "we have strong systems" to "we have strong people we secretly fear losing."
Signals
You are the default person people go to, even for things others could learn.
Your calendar is full of emergencies that "only you can solve."
Vacation feels risky because you are not sure what will fall apart.
Adjustments
Notice anything you do more than twice a week that makes a difference.
Ask: "If I got sick for a month, how would I want someone else to run this?"
Write a small guide, checklist, or screen recording for that 1 thing.
Over time, you want less "I am the only 1 who can," and more "this is how we do it here, and I happen to be good at it."
As a leader, reward people who turn hero work into shared practice, not just people who keep putting the cape on.
A.I. Assist
Record yourself walking through a task. Transcribe it and ask A.I.: "Turn this into a clear checklist someone else could follow." Then refine it.
Pretty Words, Weak Guardrails
Pretty Words, Weak Guardrails
You can say you value "focus," "ownership," or "clarity," but habits are the proof. Values only count when they become repeatable actions.
A simple pattern: Because I value X, when Y happens, I do Z.
These "if–then" plans significantly increase follow-through on intentions (New York University).
For example: Because I value focus, when a meeting starts, I close extra tabs and silence notifications.
The value is invisible. The behavior is what people feel. Culture lives in those tiny choices, not in the town hall slides.
Signals
You say yes to more commitments than your calendar can hold.
You care about quality, but you do not have standards written down.
You rely on "remembering" instead of cues or checklists.
Adjustments
For any value, name 1 visible behavior that would prove it.
Turn that into a cue: a template, a checklist item, a weekly reminder, a simple rule.
Review once a week: "Did I live this value in action or just talk about it?"
If you lead a team, build 1 or 2 of these into shared rituals. "Because we value X, when Y happens, we do Z" becomes part of how you plan, hire, and review work.
A.I. Assist
Ask A.I.: "For our team context, give me 5 examples of Because we value X, when Y we do Z." Choose the few you are actually willing to live.
"Values are real the moment they change what you do at 2 p.m. on a rough Tuesday."
— Nathan Rafter
Make Friends & Influence People
Make Friends & Influence People
You rarely change behavior in isolation. At some point your growth touches others, and if you manage or lead, your main job is to turn private intention into shared progress. Make it safer and easier for people to move through the rungs.
Quit Getting Hung On A Rung
Quit Getting Hung On A Rung
Once you can see what drives you, you need a path from "I never do this" to "I cannot imagine not doing this."
At a high level, you can think of progression in 3 phases:
Rungs 1–2: Not Ready.
Rungs 3–5: Emerging.
Rungs 6–9: Locked In.
When starting, most people fall into 2 traps:
They think change is all-or-nothing.
They treat early struggle as proof that "this is not who I am."
9 Rungs Of The Behavior Change Ladder
9 Rungs Of The Behavior Change Ladder
Behavior moves up and down rungs. Your job is not to leap straight from rung 1 to 9. Your job is to move to the next on purpose.
This ladder works for individuals and for teams. For leaders, it becomes a coaching tool. You stop asking "What is wrong with this person?" and start asking "What rung are they hung on and how do I support their next step up?"
1. Does Not Know
1. Does Not Know
You have no idea the behavior exists or matters.
Signals
You learn about a metric, expectation, or practice and think, "Nobody ever told me that."
Support
Show a clear picture of what "good" looks like.
Connect it to an outcome they care about, not a buzzword.
2. Aware, But Clueless
2. Aware, But Clueless
You know the behavior in theory but have no practical sense of how to do it.
Signals
"I understand the idea, but I have no idea what it looks like in my day."
Support
Break it into a 10 to 15 minute practice.
Give a small, safe first rep: "Just do this once this week."
3. Wants To, But Overloaded
3. Wants To, But Overloaded
The behavior makes sense. You agree with it. Your plate is already full.
When cognitive load is high, people default to existing habits even when they know a better way (Kahneman).
Signals
"I would love to, but I cannot add anything else right now."
You start strong for a few days, then life happens.
Support
Remove something before you add something.
Link the new behavior to an existing routine instead of bolting it on top.
4. Knows How, Still Avoids
4. Knows How, Still Avoids
Skill is not the issue. Emotion is.
Signals
"I know how to have that conversation, I just keep dodging it."
"I know this new way is better, but I do not like feeling clumsy."
Support
Tie the behavior to a deeper reason: someone you support, a standard you care about, a future you want.
Shrink the first step until it feels possible, not impressive.
5. Does It When Prompted
5. Does It When Prompted
You can perform the behavior, but it depends on reminders or pressure.
Signals
You follow the new practice when someone asks, then drift.
Support
Add simple cues where the work happens: a checklist, a prompt, a recurring calendar nudge.
Review weekly: "When did I follow through? When did I skip? Why did that happen?"
6. Owns It
6. Owns It
You no longer need external pressure. You choose the behavior because you see the value.
Signals
You feel out of rhythm when you do not do it.
You tweak it to fit your style.
Support
Give yourself or your team control over how to express the habit within clear boundaries.
Capture what you have learned so far.
7. Teaches It
7. Teaches It
You start helping others do it. You can explain the "why" and the "how."
Signals
People come to you with questions about this behavior.
You have examples, not just theories.
Support
Give space to mentor or demo.
Capture your way of teaching as assets: notes, videos, or guides.
A.I. Assist
Record a quick explanation. Ask A.I. to turn it into a 1-page "how we do this" guide that others can follow. Refine it then share.
8. Refines It
8. Refines It
The behavior is stable. Now you focus on smoothness, speed, or quality.
Signals
You are not asking "Will I do this?" but "How can I do this better?"
Support
Run small, low-risk experiments: shorter steps, fewer clicks, clearer language.
Let data and experience tell you what to keep.
9. Wires It In
9. Wires It In
The behavior does not rely on memory or mood. It has a home in your calendar, tools, and shared playbooks.
Signals
"That is just part of how we work now."
New people learn it without needing you in the room.
Support
Keep the system simple and visible.
Review it when strategy changes, not only when something breaks.
"What you tolerate becomes your culture. What you train becomes your advantage."
— Nathan Rafter
The Power Of "I Do Not Know, Yet"
The Power Of "I Do Not Know, Yet"
The hardest behavior change for people is a single word: yet. It asks you to hold 2 things at once: you are not where you want to be, and your story is not finished.
Own Your Unknowns
Own Your Unknowns
For many people, the hardest behavior change requires adding yet to discouraging statements.
"I have no idea" is rarely true.
"I am just bad at this" is temporary at most.
"I do not know yet" leaves the door for success open.
It pulls you out of "this is just who I am" and into "this is a skill I can build," which is uncomfortable but also the pathway from a fixed identity to a future you can grow into.
Turn Defeat Into Direction
Turn Defeat Into Direction
It does 3 things at once:
It keeps ego from pretending.
It invites help or learning.
It keeps the responsibility on you to move.
Make It A Team Habit
Make It A Team Habit
You can make this a cultural norm:
Leaders go first: "I do not know, yet. Here is how I plan to find out."
Teams add 1 line to retrospectives and 1:1s: "What are we still not clear on?"
People are praised for surfacing gaps early, not punished for asking.
When this becomes normal, strategy conversations get more honest. You stop pretending certainty and start designing better experiments.
Accelerate With A.I.
Accelerate With A.I.
"I do not know yet" pairs well with A.I. You can take a fuzzy question and say:
"Show me 3 ways people in my role have approached this problem."
"Draft a first pass and highlight the tradeoffs."
You still decide. The tool makes exploration faster.
Exercise Human Intelligence First
Exercise Human Intelligence First
Even small shifts matter. Global data shows employee engagement sits around 21% and that managers account for roughly 70% of the variance in team engagement (Gallup). Organizations with well-supported, strong managers can see employee engagement rates beyond 65%.
3 Questions For 1:1s
3 Questions For 1:1s
What is 1 behavior that would make your week easier if it improved?
Which rung do you think you are at with that behavior right now?
What is 1 tiny next move you are willing to try in the next 7 days?
3 Patterns To Watch
3 Patterns To Watch
Learning without landing: people attend training, but nothing shows up in the calendar.
Hero mode: the same names always save the day, and nothing gets documented.
Values without verification: you hear the right words, but you do not see matching actions.
3 Habits To Model
3 Habits To Model
Say "I do not know yet" and show how you plan to learn.
Share your own awkward first reps so others feel safe to try.
Reward people who turn wins into shared checklists or practices, not just people who pull off a rescue.
Use A.I. As A Behavior Amplifier
Use A.I. As A Behavior Amplifier
When I work with leaders, A.I. is not the star. It is the amplifier. Work starts with something real, like a messy behavior problem that shows up in support tickets, sales calls, or 1:1 notes. Together, we pull in what already exists:
Chat and call transcripts.
Retro and meeting notes.
Awareness Logs and feedback forms.
Enhance Pattern & Root Cause Recognition
Enhance Pattern & Root Cause Recognition
Once your data is rich with context, start making sharp, focused requests.
"Show 3 behavior patterns you see here."
"Turn this story into 2 habits we could test next week."
"Draft a simple checklist for how we want this conversation to go next time."
A.I. can surface patterns, but you still judge what matters and decide what happens next. Use it as input to sharpen your delegation and operational decisions so you lead on purpose, not by guesswork.
Human Lead, Digitally Scaled
Human Lead, Digitally Scaled
The human work is deciding what matters and telling the truth about how people act now. A.I. just makes it faster to see patterns and turn them into experiments and systems.
Weak inputs create slop. Vague asks create vague answers. My role is to help you feed A.I. with sharper questions, real examples, and concrete outcomes, so the tool scales your judgment instead of replacing it.
Consider using A.I. in front of your team as a thinking partner, not a magic answer box. Show them how to feed it real examples and ask for tiny behaviors, not vague transformation.
Develop A Critical Eye For A.I.
Develop A Critical Eye For A.I.
A.I. is a power tool, not a talent replacement. Just because it made something does not make it good, and it does not mean you should take full credit if you barely touched it.
Nearly 70% of leaders expect A.I. to improve productivity, yet most cite skills, behavior, and change management as the real barriers to value (Deloitte).
Use A.I. as a partner, not a mask. What matters is your judgment: how you frame the ask, review the answer, and own the result. These are not tech problems. They are behavior choices: whether you show up as a builder or as a shortcut taker.
Red-Flag A.I. Habits
Red-Flag A.I. Habits
You paste a vague prompt and copy the first answer.
You do not check it against reality, your values, or your voice.
You call it "your work" even though you did not make any real decisions.
You feel a little sick when someone asks, "How did you do this?"
Valuable Uses Of A.I.
Valuable Uses Of A.I.
You bring real inputs: examples, data, transcripts, drafts.
You give clear prompts: "for this audience," "in this situation," "with these constraints."
You edit, test, and adjust the output until it actually fits your standards.
You can explain what you kept, what you changed, and why.
From Behavior To Backbone
From Behavior To Backbone
If AAAwesome is your loop for improving how the business runs, Backbone Behavior becomes the lens for how your own behaviors can be observed and improved.
You stop treating every thought as truth.
You see the forces that quietly run your day.
You move through the rungs of change instead of judging yourself at the start line.
You say "I do not know yet" and keep moving anyway.
Long-term performance gains are more likely when organizations treat culture as a set of repeatable behaviors and systems, not just messaging (Kotter & Heskett).
"Systems are sturdy when people behave like the future they want, not the past they survived."
— Nathan Rafter
Apply New Insights Now
Apply New Insights Now
Buff Up Your Backbone Behavior
Buff Up Your Backbone Behavior
Thinking about behavior is useful. Changing it is better. This quick exercise turns ideas into action with 1 small move you can make this week. Set aside 15 minutes with a notebook.
Step 1: Pick 1 Behavior (3 Minutes)
Step 1: Pick 1 Behavior (3 Minutes)
Choose a single behavior that would make the rest of your work easier if you improved it. Not 5. Just 1.
Examples
Finishing 1 meaningful task before checking messages.
Closing your day with a 5-minute review.
Writing clear next steps after each meeting.
Step 2: Find Your Rung (3 Minutes)
Step 2: Find Your Rung (3 Minutes)
Be honest: which of the 9 rungs are you at for this behavior?
Do not judge it. Just name it.
Step 3: Design A Next Move (3 Minutes)
Step 3: Design A Next Move (3 Minutes)
Based on that rung, choose 1 action:
If you "do not know," find 1 clear example.
If you "can, but avoid," shrink the first step.
If you "do it when reminded," create a better cue.
Keep it small enough that you can try it in the next 48 hours.
Step 4: Add 1 Cue (3 Minutes)
Step 4: Add 1 Cue (3 Minutes)
Put a prompt where the work happens:
A sticky note on your monitor.
A checklist item in your tool.
A short daily reminder on your calendar.
Step 5: Reflect On Friday (3 Minutes)
Step 5: Reflect On Friday (3 Minutes)
Did I do it at all?
When I did, what changed?
What would make it easier next week?
Forward Is The Direction Of Change
Forward Is The Direction Of Change
What you do over and over becomes who you are.
The goal is to have honesty to see the next rung, courage to try one small move, and enough structure to keep what works. Keep choosing the next small step on purpose and the future you want starts to look like the way you already work.
If you shape the behavior, you strengthen the organization's backbone.
Next-Level Considerations
Next-Level Considerations
Which thought has been driving my behavior lately that I can start treating as just a thought?
Where am I trying to change 10 things at once instead of 1?
Which rung am I at for the behavior that matters most to my role right now?
Where would "I do not know yet" unlock better decisions or less stress?
What is 1 behavior that deserves to be wired into a simple system instead of living in my memory?
"Think of Backbone Behavior as your real culture stack: the behaviors that stay standing when the slogans and slides are absent."
— Nathan Rafter
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